Snow Day!

So excited for snow he said he didn't need a hat or gloves. That didn't last long.

Throwing snowballs at mommy and brother!

Making a snow angel

"Mom look I'm a train!"

All done

My world. I love my boys!

I've got this =)

I was asked how it was for it to be just Mike and I in the room for Erik's birth. I have to say it was great! It was a wonderful experience and I don't regret it. As I think back to it I'm so happy with our decision with it just being us and that Dr. Mahnke was there to deliver Erik. She is the best OB/GYN. I wish I had her with Kristoffer. She made the experience enjoyable and it makes me almost want to do it all again. But that's not going to happen cause March 14th is the day I get my tubal done.

I have had a few days where I've had both boys all day and have taken both on a couple trips to the store. Kristoffer is being such a great brother and helper. Mike is being a great husband too. Sometimes he gets home and the house is a mess but doesn't say a word. He also gets up with me at night to change Erik's diaper and even makes dinner after he gets home from work sometimes. Breast feeding is going a lot smoother this time. It seems like I'm always nursing though. My goal is to make it till Erik is 2 months old when he can get his vaccines.

Kristoffer and Erik have me wrapped around their pinkies. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have 2 very handsome boys. Kristoffer has only given his brother a couple hugs and touched his hair a couple times. Still wont hug or hold him. Don't know why but we aren't being pushy about it. With Kristoffer it took me 3 months to fully recover and with Erik I swear I felt recovered after 10 days!

My family feels complete. I'm balancing both kids better than I thought I would. I feel so confidant taking care of both boys and taking them out. It came so natural.

Erik Nolan Kai

1-7-14 36 weeks 4 days 1cm 0% effaced.
1-14-14 37 weeks 4 days 4cm and 80% effaced
1-21-14 38 weeks 4 days 5cm and 80% effaced

At my last appointment my doctor was surprised to see me still pregnant. She checked me twice and noticed Erik wasn't staying engaged. She was getting worried since I was far enough that my water could break at any moment. She brought in the ultrasound machine to do a quick ultrasound to see what was going on. She took the pics to the high risk doctor. My doctor came back and said that my amniotic fluid was high and I was at high risk for Umbilical Cord Prolapse. (Which is if my water broke when Erik's head wasn't engaged that his cord could come out which is life threatening to him. Especially if it happened outside of a hospital.) So Mike and I agreed with the my doctor that it would be best for me to be induced.

I wasn't thrilled about getting Pitocin again but I had to do what was best for Erik. From the time I got induced till I had him was about 9 hours just like Kristoffer. I went from 5cm to 6cm in no time again just like Kristoffer. I thought I could make it drug free.

At 6cm the contractions were back to back and more intense than the last. After about 2 hours of that and only making it to 7cm I decided to get the epidural. I tried the pain meds to take the edge off but I swear they only worked for 5 minutes.

I fell asleep shortly after that and I got woken up at 1:30am to be checked. My doctor took one look and said "Oh there's his head." (she had just got done doing a csection). So who knows how long he was crowning for. The room quickly got transformed for delivery. As soon as everyone was ready I started throwing up. Which was good cause I was groggy before and then after I was done being sick I was awake ready to push. After 6 minutes of pushing and a 2nd degree episiotomy  Erik was born at 1:51am weighing 7lbs 13oz and 20.5 inches long. He came out a little purple but quickly pinked up with no extra oxygen.

Kristoffer loves his baby brother. One of the nurses made Kristoffer a "Big Brother to Erik" bracelet. He wore it to school and showed everyone. It was just Mike and I in the room at the time of delivery. We had no visitors while there and yet to have any at home. We are enjoying it just being us.

Erik passed all his test with flying colors. As soon as we were both all cleared we left the hospital at noon on Thursday. I felt so good I even drove home since both cars were there. I haven't taken anything stronger than ibuprofen. With Kristoffer I was on ibuprofen and percocets for 2 weeks and stayed in bed during that time.

 

Erik has me on a very short leash. He has to be on me or close to me for me to sleep. He is more of a momma's boy than Kristoffer. Erik just fit right in. My family is complete now.

37 weeks

My time being a mom to one child is coming to an end. I will have a new role as a mom of 2. I'm nervous about my new role coming up. I hope I can quickly figure out how to balance both kids. I still want Kristoffer to feel like he is still an important part of my life and not anything else or less.

He is excited about his brother coming soon. I hope they become best friends. I don't want him to resent Erik at all. I'm probably over thinking it or worrying about it too much. I just want both boys to feel like they each are the center of my world. I'm sure everything will work out but I can't help to second guess myself. 

I bought a toy that Kristoffer wanted from winco that he will get from Erik when they meet for the first time. 

Kristoffer has been extra loving lately and has been wanting me more too. So I have been soaking it up. I probably have been giving into him more just because his world is about to change. But with Mike and I working together and taking turns giving each boy one on one it all will  be fine.

2013

Finally getting around to blogging about 2013. Better late than never right?

January:
Mike and I celebrated 8 years of being together.

February:
Mike changed jobs and we celebrated 7 years of being married.

March:
My dad went in for a double bypass but ended up getting a triple bypass. I saw him shortly after surgery which I don't know if it was a good idea since I had a horrible panic/anxiety attack. My legs went numb, I couldnt stop shaking and breathing became gasping for air. I was able to get my breathing back to normal shortly. Never want to have one of those again.

We switched Kristoffer to a booster too. He was getting too big for his 5 point harness seat. I don't know what was more terrifying for me, switching him to forward facing at 18 months or putting him in a booster seat at 4 1/2.

April:
My lab puppy Mollie made it to her first birthday. At times I didn't know if she would make it.

I hit my first weight loss goal of 30lbs!

May:
May 29th Mike's Grandpa passed away at 90. Alan Jackson's song "Small town southern man" reminds me of him so much. I'm glad Kristoffer and I were able to go to Arkansas the previous Thanksgiving which turned out to be his last. I'm glad I put on my big girl pants and flew by myself with Kristoffer to Arkansas then drove the 3 hours to Mike's Aunt's house where his Grandpa was staying. I had never been to that state so it was a bit nerve racking but worth it.
May 31st I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant with Erik.

June/July:
Nothing really happened these months.

August:
Finally let everyone in on our great news of us expecting another baby.
Bought my 2006 Corolla

September:
Kristoffer started Pre-K.
Found out Kristoffer was right about getting a brother.
Kristoffer turned 5!

October:
Kristoffer actually was into Halloween. Spent over an hour walking around.

November:
I had my baby shower.

December:
I turned 27
We got beautiful new windows for our house. Never thought I would be so happy/excited/giddy over new windows.
Drove in the snow for the first time.
Mike turned 31
Kristoffer got everything he wanted for Christmas. Which I'm glad since it was his last one as an only child.


Mike and I have been getting along so much better this year. I guess the 7 year itch didn't apply to us. This pregnancy has been a lot harder on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I have worries about going from 1 to 2 kids. I'm glad Kristoffer got out of his anger phase. I have been working on relaxing more and not be super mom/wife. 2013 was actually a decent year for us. 

Sorry

Well last Friday we went to get Kristoffer's pics done since he really wanted to get his pics done with the snowman at Picture People. As soon as it became his turn he no longer wanted to do them. Kristoffer started crying saying he was scared. I think he just didn't want to do them anymore. I tried not getting my hopes up but I did since he was excited to do them for WEEKS! I tried to stay positive but I slowly started to lose my patients. The more I tried to stay with the if we get them we get them if not oh well attitude the more I was losing grip on controlling my emotions. Being pregnant and off my anti depressants hasn't been easy. I tried and tried to regain myself but the more I tried the faster I was losing it. Which in turn made Kristoffer feel horrible and made him feel like he did something wrong. It should have never got to that point. He felt so bad that when Mike took him to his favorite play area at the mall he didn't want to play. By the time we left the mall I was so mad at myself. I tried not looking at Kristoffer cause I didn't want him to see me upset and I didn't want him to feel worse. I can't wait till I have Erik so I can have a better grip on my emotions. I will probably get back on my Zoloft too.

Basically last friday should NOT have gone the way it did. Kristoffer should NOT have felt the way he did. We went to the tree lighting at Esther Shore Park that night. He wanted a glow stick but the guy only took cash. Well guess what I didn't have....CASH! Good thing it was dark cause I got emotional a little cause I felt I could make up the day a little by getting him one. I told him next year I would get him one. After that we stopped by the gas station. While Mike was in the gas station Kristoffer said for the third time that day "Mommy I'm sorry for my pictures." Which again I started crying. I'm so done with the pregnancy emotional roller coaster and the added hormones. I told Kristoffer it was ok and we could always try again. The next day I sat him down and explained I wasn't mad at him and that I could NEVER be mad at him over pictures. That the next time pictures get done it will be everybody in the pictures including his brother. Also that I was sorry and I didn't mean for him to feel bad. I like his pictures we got.

So this Sunday I think we are going to have a mommy and buddy make up day at the mall. We will go to McDonalds and he can have whatever kids meal combo he wants. Then go play at his favorite spot. I'm embarrassed to being telling everyone this but it has been nagging at me since. As I'm sitting here typing this all out I'm getting teary eyed cause I NEVER thought I could lose control over my emotions like that and make a 5 year old especially MY son feel horrible over something especially something so small. So to Kristoffer I am sorry. I love you and the picture we got.

My handsome Buddy 

Pretending to be celebrities!

After MONTHS and MONTHS of discussing it (we started right when we decided to have another baby) we have finally come to a decision surrounding Erik's birth. We didn't make the decision on a whim but a lot of thought and time went into making our decision.

We have decided that when Erik is born it will just be Mike and I in the room. We will have no visitors (except Kristoffer of course) at the hospital or at home until Erik is at least a week old. Nothing will be posted about his birth or pics until after then. We want to focus on becoming a family of four and transitioning Kristoffer from only child to a big brother. Also let him get to know his little brother before everyone comes to gawk at Erik. I want Kristoffer to feel like a priority still when his brother comes. We were pretty open about Kristoffer's birth, hospital visits and after we came home so we are taking it down a couple notches.

As Erik's due date approaches I will probably be posting less to focus my last few weeks of being a mom to one child and making sure everything is ready for Erik to come home. I will not confirm nor deny his birth until I am ready to announce. I hope everyone can respect and accept our decision. I know some feelings will be or are hurt by our decision but we need to focus on what's best for our family and we feel this way is it. If somehow you do find out Erik is born please respect our decision and not say anything.