September 12th I found out my Grandma Mary passed away the night before. Immediately I felt devastated for losing her and the guilt for not speaking to her since February 2010. I thought about her often and thought about calling her too. Wishing there was a turn back time switch. After talking to some people yesterday I realized it wasn't all on me on why we were talking it takes 2 people to make any type of relationship work. So I still do feel guilty for not putting the effort out there.
The anger and frustration hit last night after finding out not 1 person of my Grandma's family (including us) was in her will. She left everything to 3 people who's she's only known less than 4 years. She didn't leave anything to the family she did talk to. So leaving me to think her will wasn't completely done by her. Don't think I think I'm entitled to my Grandma's possessions but having something even as little as a marble or something would help with this huge healing process I'm having to go thru.
While I do have her dinning room table that she and her late husband had in there home I am so very grateful for it, it was given to me long before she died. I love my Grandma I really do. I wish we could of had a better relationship and she would have realized some important thing in life. (Don't take it as I am bashing her cause I'm not)
On a good note, all her health problems are gone. Her heart is at 100%, her diabetes is gone along with all her other health problems. I hope she has come to terms with everything that has happened in the last couple years and is resting in peace. I do love you Grandma Mary.
Lesson I learned was tomorrow isnt garunteed and putting of calling someone can come back to bite you. So reach out to family and friends you are at odds with and try to make ammends. You may or may not get the chance to if it's put off too long.
Yes it is very hard to loose a loved one i my self have lost 2 loved one's this yr, and it's very hard for me, one of them happened to be my father,and to this day im having problems,understanding that he is gone,But not forgotten, and the other one was a very close friend of mine he died last month....
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